Mans world

There is a usage habit coursing through the homes, families, and whānau of Aotearoa that is having a dramatic impact on our physical health and mental wellbeing.

Over 3,500 convictions are handed down annually against those who engage in this behaviour. A staggering 86% of fatal outcomes related to this usage involve its users. Those it harms, mostly women, include 64.6% of Māori, 61.6% of Pākehā. No group is immune. We often assume it is rooted in socio-economic hardship, but its reach extends well into middle-class homes, defying these stereotypes.

In recent times, government has allocated circa $142 million for recovery and support services and an additional $25 million for related programmes. All well and good, you might think, until you discover we are talking about men who use violence. Despite the scale of harm, funding remains disproportionately low. Only $16 million is directed toward addressing the behaviour of men who use violence. The effects are profound. Families are torn apart, mental health services are stretched thin, and cycles of harm perpetuate unchecked.

When it comes to domestic violence, it’s time to favour men.

Bound to provoke outrage, but the uncomfortable truth is that, as a society, we’ve been focusing on the wrong group. For too long, the emphasis has been placed on the women and children who suffer at the hands of violent men, while the perpetrators—the men themselves—continue to operate largely outside the reach of meaningful accountability.

I believe this focus is a fundamental part of the problem. Domestic violence is not a socio-economic issue or a problem of race—it is a gender issue, deeply rooted in the power and privileges historically afforded to men.

My view is we would be well served to apply the language of addiction to this issue. The term "using violence" shifts the perspective—it’s no longer an act that can be excused or ignored; it’s a harmful behaviour that needs to be addressed. We can do this by supporting recovery from this usage, supporting our men to be different, through programmes like the ones we offer

This, I argue, is a societal failure. By neglecting the perpetrators, we continue to reinforce the power imbalance that allows family violence to persist unchecked.

My solution is bold: stop focusing solely on the women and children who are victims of violence, and start directing attention to the men who are causing it. Turn the spotlight on the perpetrators, expose them for what they are, and hold them accountable.

Key Action Points: Acknowledge the gender root of family violence: This is not an issue of race or socio-economic status—it is a deep-rooted gender problem, Focus on the perpetrators: Men who use violence must be brought into the spotlight. It’s time to end the culture of anonymity that allows them to continue without challenge or consequence.Accountability for men who use violence: Society must shift its focus and confront the real issue—the violent men at the heart of the problem.Challenge historical power imbalances: The idea that men have a right to control their partners must be dismantled. These behaviours have been tolerated for far too long and must be actively challenged.Community responsibility: It’s time for communities to step up. We must stop hiding the violence behind closed doors and take responsibility for reporting and confronting it head-on.

The Impacts of Domestic Violence on Mental Health

Anxiety and depression: Survivors of domestic violence are 4.7 times more likely to develop anxiety and 3 times more likely to suffer from depression compared to those without such experiences.

Self-harm and suicidal behaviour: Victims exhibit significantly higher rates of self-harm and are at greater risk of attempting suicide.

Trauma in children: Witnessing or experiencing domestic violence leads to behavioural issues and cognitive impairments, severely impacting their mental wellbeing and academic performance.

School performance: Children exposed to domestic violence experience decreased academic achievement, increased absenteeism, and higher dropout rates, perpetuating cycles of disadvantage

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